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We Deserve More
Why Reproductive Healthcare is Broken--And What You Can Do About It

Praise for We Deserve More

“Changing reproductive healthcare isn’t just about policy—it’s about culture, trust, and who gets heard. We Deserve More is a powerful example of how we can reach people in new ways, validate their experiences, and build confidence to demand better care. Nikki makes clear that patients’ voices matter—and that expanding who tells these stories is how real change happens.”

—Mini Timmaraju, President & CEO, Reproductive Freedom for All

We Deserve More truly captures how medical care can retraumatize us when compassion and consent are missing. Survivors already carry a lasting trauma; we deserve better care.”

—Hadley Duvall, survivor and activist

“There's no question that our healthcare system is failing women when it comes to reproductive care, and this book opens your eyes to why you deserve so much better. Nikki weaves together her personal journey with hard truths about the system, drawing on her years of experience as a PA-C in women's health. What makes this book special is how she balances the big picture (calling out the systemic problems that hold us back) with practical advice you can use the next time you see your gynecologist. Her real-world experiences give weight to every recommendation, making this both an eye-opening critique and an empowering resource.”

—Bayo Curry-Winchell, MD, MS, board-certified family medicine physician and health advocate

“From over a decade of clinical experience as an OB/Gyn Physician Assistant, Nikki Sapiro Vinckier paints us a picture we cannot look away from— describing just how broken our reproductive health system is and the daily harms that system enacts on both patients and providers. Importantly, she compels us to go beyond anger and step into action, with concrete strategies to reshape and retake our reproductive health care into our own hands.”

—Latona Giwa, Executive Director, Repro TLC

We Deserve More is the book I wish I had read decades ago.  It should be on the reading list for every book club. It should be part of the curriculum for every Women and Gender’s Studies program.  It should be required reading for every medical student. This is the book I will gift to my friends (male and female).  This is a book for people who give a damn about women.”

—Kristin Cravens Hutton

“This book should be required reading from an insider whose expertise tells us what's broken about the reproductive health system, and what we can do about it. It is as important as Our Bodies, Ourselves was when it was released in the 1970s. It empowers all of us to speak up and take our healthcare seriously when the system does not.”

—Loretta J. Ross, Reproductive Justice Activist, author, professor, and Co-Founder of SisterSong

“The fight over reproductive healthcare is deeply personal, and all of us, men included, have a stake in whether or not people have access to the care they need. This book provides a comprehensive guide for navigating a system that creates endless barriers to that essential care, including how men like us can fully support the women in our life navigating those barriers on a daily basis.”

—Oren Jacobson, Men4Choice Founder and Senior Advisor

“In We Deserve More, Nikki Sapiro Vinckier uses her experience as a clinician within the reproductive healthcare system to help patients effectively navigate it. It is a wonderful resource for anyone seeking support through the complexities of provider relationships, insurance frustrations, online misinformation, and much more.”

—Becca Rea-Tucker, author of The Abortion Companion: An Affirming Handbook for Your Choice and Your Journey (2026)

"This book is both a wake-up call and an essential resource. Nikki Sapiro Vinckier shows readers what’s broken in reproductive healthcare and how to advocate for the care we all deserve.”

—Pamela Merritt, Executive Director, Med Students for Choice

Nikki Sapiro Vinckier (Author)

9781394407798, Wiley

Hardback, published 28 April 2026

336 pages
22.9 x 15.8 x 2.5 cm, 0.522 kg

Navigate reproductive health systems with confidence and get the care you’ve always deserved

We Deserve More: Why Reproductive Healthcare is Broken—And What You Can Do About It, by Nikki Sapiro Vinckier, OB/GYN PA-C, exposes the systemic failures plaguing reproductive healthcare and shows readers how to advocate for themselves with clarity and confidence. Vinckier, a nationally recognized OB/GYN Physician Assistant with over a decade of clinical experience, reproductive health creator, and founder of Take Back Trust, takes on the root causes of medical dismissal, rushed and inadequate care, and the quiet traumas that leave millions of patients feeling invisible in exam rooms across America. Written through a nonpartisan lens, this book pulls back the curtain on what’s broken in reproductive healthcare—and offers practical tools to speak up, be heard, and finally get the care you deserve.

Drawing on her extensive clinical background and advocacy work, Vinckier unpacks how flawed medical training, restrictive insurance policies, relentless time pressures, and systemic bias intersect to leave patients unheard and underserved. She examines everything from the routine downplaying of women’s pain to the role social media has taken on as an unofficial medical resource, while centering the lived experiences of patients dismissed, delayed, or denied care—from Black maternal health inequities to overlooked menopause symptoms and years-long waits for an endometriosis diagnosis.

  • Self-advocacy tools that work in the room: Practical scripts for pushing back when your pain is minimized, step-by-step prep for visits, and strategies for documenting encounters so you can be heard and taken seriously.
  • Behind-the-scenes truth of the system: A clear look at how OB/GYN training, insurance rules, and time pressure actually shape the care you receive—and why so many providers end up overlooking conditions like endometriosis, menopause, and perinatal mental health.
  • Validation with evidence: Blends clinical expertise with real patient stories to confirm what so many have felt—medical gaslighting, bias, and delayed diagnoses aren’t “in your head,” they’re systemic patterns that can be named and challenged.
  • Comprehensive navigation for every stage: From painful periods to fertility struggles, from respectful birth to menopause, the book offers strategies to find affirming providers, advocate for pain management, and build care that finally centers you.

This book serves women, queer people, and people with uteruses ages 18–60 who have felt dismissed, confused, or traumatized by reproductive healthcare—and are ready to demand better. It is equally essential for healthcare providers, advocates, and supporters who want to understand and address the systemic barriers shaping reproductive care.

Whether you are navigating painful periods brushed off as “normal,” searching for answers after years without a diagnosis, struggling to find real menopause care, fighting for respectful reproductive healthcare, or simply trying to be heard in the exam room, We Deserve More provides the validation, strategy, and solidarity you need to transform your healthcare experience and finally be heard.

About the Author xiii
Preface xv
Introduction xix

Part One: What's Wrong with the System 1

Chapter 1: The Roots of a Broken System 3
How History Shaped the Care We Get and Why It Still Fails Us Now

Chapter 2: How the Limits of OB-GYN Training Lead to Gaps in Care 9
From What's Taught to What You Experience—How Training Gaps Become Care Gaps

Chapter 3: Missing Pieces, Missing Care 35
When Silence, Stigma, and Neglect Leave Patients "Unseen"

Chapter 4: Care Wasn't Built for Everyone 67
Some People Aren't Just Falling Through the Cracks, They've Been Failed from the Beginning

Chapter 5: The Illusion of Coverage 87
How Insurance Turns Access into an Obstacle Course

Chapter 6: Broken System, Good People 105
Not All Providers Are Bad, but They're Working in a System That Makes It Hard to be Good

Chapter 7: The Trauma We Carry In 123
When the System Doesn't See Trauma, It Risks Creating More of It

Part Two: When the System Gets Personal 149

Chapter 8: When Culture Illuminates the Failures 151
How Stories Shatter Silence, Build Community, and Push Medicine to Pay Attention

Chapter 9: Too Little Time 161
Why Short Visits Leave Patients Feeling Unseen and How to Reclaim Your Voice When the Clock Is Against You

Chapter 10: The Algorithm Will See You Now 175
How Social Media Is Shaping the Way We Seek, Share, and Trust Health Information

Chapter 11: When Your Voice Isn't Enough: Gaslighting, Bias, and Discrimination in Care 193
The Systemic Failures That Silence Patients and the Tools You Need to be Heard

Part Three: Your Body, Your Voice 207

Chapter 12: Learning Your Body and Your Needs 209
You Can't Advocate for Yourself if You've Been Taught to Ignore Your Body; Let's Change That

Chapter 13: Finding Care That Sees You 219
Because the Right Provider Doesn't Just Treat Your Body. They Respect Your Whole Self

Chapter 14: How to Get Ready, Speak Up, and Handle What Comes 235
Speaking Up Is Power; Knowing What to Do When You're Dismissed Is Protection

Chapter 15: Asking for Pain Management 245
You Shouldn't Have to Suffer Through It, but You Do Need to Ask Ahead of Time

Chapter 16: Care Beyond the Exam Room 257
Self-Care Isn't Separate from Healthcare, It's Part of It

Chapter 17: Lessons from Abroad 267
How Global Models Reveal What's Possible, and How to Bring Those Lessons Home

Chapter 18: This Isn't Extra; This Is Your Right 281
How to Take Everything You've Learned and Use It to Get the Care You Deserve

Additional Content

References 301

Subject Areas: Social services & welfare, criminology [JK]

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