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Transforming Defensiveness
A Guidebook for Rewriting Our Stories and Reclaiming Connection
Andrea L. Dottolo (Author)
9781394296798, Wiley
Paperback / softback, published 21 April 2026
192 pages
22.6 x 15 x 2 cm, 0.227 kg
A detailed, hands-on strategy guide for educators, facilitators, and leaders to explore defensiveness in themselves and others Transforming Defensiveness: A Guidebook for Rewriting Our Stories & Reclaiming Connection offers a clear, practical roadmap for navigating the emotional responses that surface in conversations about identity, power, and difference. Designed for use in classrooms, workplaces, and community settings, the guidebook blends theory with hands-on tools—reflection exercises, discussion prompts, and real-world applications—to help readers recognize and navigate defensiveness. By unpacking the roots of defensive reactions and guiding readers toward greater self-awareness, empathy, and accountability, it offers skills to move beyond resistance and engage more authentically. Defensiveness is situated not only inside individuals and personal relationships, but also within cultures, systems, and institutions. More than a collection of activities, Transforming Defensiveness provides a framework for building cultures of trust and belonging. It equips educators, facilitators, and leaders to create environments where people can feel acknowledged and valued, and where moments of tension can become opportunities for learning and connection. Through reflection, reframing, and social action, the guidebook fosters emotional intelligence, strengthens communication, and promotes more equitable systems of collaboration and leadership. Ultimately, it invites us to rewrite the stories that divide us and cultivate communities rooted in courage, curiosity, and connection.
Acknowledgments vii Transforming Defensiveness: A Guidebook for Rewriting Our Stories & Reclaiming Connection 1 The classroom 2 The Professor Arrives 2 Opening Moves 3 The Discussion Begins 4 More Questions 5 Introduction 5 Chapter 1: What Is Defensiveness? 12 Defining Defensiveness? 13 Learning Outcomes 25 What is the Purpose of Defensiveness? 25 The Change Triangle 28 Coping vs. Defensiveness 32 Summary 34 Chapter 2: Why Do We Sometimes Feel Defensive? 35 In- Group Bias 37 Intersectionality 41 Stereotypes & Discrimination 44 Belief in a Just World 47 Investment in the Status Quo 52 Fear of Change 55 Shame 57 Summary 59 Chapter 3: Recognizing Defensiveness 60 Denial 61 Avoidance 65 Minimization 67 Rationalization 70 Blaming the Victim 72 Projection 78 Repression 80 Regression 83 Anger 85 Protectiveness of Others 87 Displacement 90 Reaction Formation 91 Undoing 93 Distancing 95 Religious or Biological Law 98 Sublimation 101 Competing Victimization 103 Intellectualization 105 Humor 107 Summary 109 Chapter 4: So Now What? What Can We Do? 110 Focus On You 111 Focus On Others 117 Focus On Groups 121 Summary 126 Chapter 5: Conclusion 128 Myths About Defensiveness 129 Defensiveness in a Digital Age 140 Defensiveness in Today’s Political Climate 143 Defensiveness and Artificial Intelligence: A Special Case 147 Narrative Defense and the Power of Storytelling 147 Strategies to Reduce Defensiveness in a Polarized, Digital World 150 More Ideas on How to Use This Book 153 Final Thoughts 156 Where to Go from Here 157 Future Directions 157 References 159 Index 180
Andrea L. Dottolo
Subject Areas: Psychology [JM]
