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The We Deserve More Workbook
A Companion for Navigating Your Reproductive Healthcare
Praise for We Deserve More “Changing reproductive healthcare isn’t just about policy—it’s about culture, trust, and who gets heard. We Deserve More is a powerful example of how we can reach people in new ways, validate their experiences, and build confidence to demand better care. Nikki makes clear that patients’ voices matter—and that expanding who tells these stories is how real change happens.” —Mini Timmaraju, President & CEO, Reproductive Freedom for All “We Deserve More truly captures how medical care can retraumatize us when compassion and consent are missing. Survivors already carry a lasting trauma; we deserve better care.” —Hadley Duvall, survivor and activist “There's no question that our healthcare system is failing women when it comes to reproductive care, and this book opens your eyes to why you deserve so much better. Nikki weaves together her personal journey with hard truths about the system, drawing on her years of experience as a PA-C in women's health. What makes this book special is how she balances the big picture (calling out the systemic problems that hold us back) with practical advice you can use the next time you see your gynecologist. Her real-world experiences give weight to every recommendation, making this both an eye-opening critique and an empowering resource.” —Bayo Curry-Winchell, MD, MS, board-certified family medicine physician and health advocate “From over a decade of clinical experience as an OB/Gyn Physician Assistant, Nikki Sapiro Vinckier paints us a picture we cannot look away from— describing just how broken our reproductive health system is and the daily harms that system enacts on both patients and providers. Importantly, she compels us to go beyond anger and step into action, with concrete strategies to reshape and retake our reproductive health care into our own hands.” —Latona Giwa, Executive Director, Repro TLC “We Deserve More is the book I wish I had read decades ago. It should be on the reading list for every book club. It should be part of the curriculum for every Women and Gender’s Studies program. It should be required reading for every medical student. This is the book I will gift to my friends (male and female). This is a book for people who give a damn about women.” —Kristin Cravens Hutton “This book should be required reading from an insider whose expertise tells us what's broken about the reproductive health system, and what we can do about it. It is as important as Our Bodies, Ourselves was when it was released in the 1970s. It empowers all of us to speak up and take our healthcare seriously when the system does not.” —Loretta J. Ross, Reproductive Justice Activist, author, professor, and Co-Founder of SisterSong “The fight over reproductive healthcare is deeply personal, and all of us, men included, have a stake in whether or not people have access to the care they need. This book provides a comprehensive guide for navigating a system that creates endless barriers to that essential care, including how men like us can fully support the women in our life navigating those barriers on a daily basis.” —Oren Jacobson, Men4Choice Founder and Senior Advisor “In We Deserve More, Nikki Sapiro Vinckier uses her experience as a clinician within the reproductive healthcare system to help patients effectively navigate it. It is a wonderful resource for anyone seeking support through the complexities of provider relationships, insurance frustrations, online misinformation, and much more.” —Becca Rea-Tucker, author of The Abortion Companion: An Affirming Handbook for Your Choice and Your Journey (2026)
Nikki Sapiro Vinckier (Author)
9781394416806, Wiley
Paperback / softback, published 28 April 2026
336 pages
23.1 x 18.5 x 2 cm, 0.499 kg
The workbook companion to We Deserve More—Navigate reproductive health systems and get the care you’ve always deserved The We Deserve More Workbook is the hands-on, practical partner to Nikki Sapiro Vinckier's groundbreaking, nonpartisan exposé on reproductive healthcare. We Deserve More unveils the root causes behind inadequate care and validates women’s frustrations. The workbook takes it further, giving you practical tools that will help you advocate for yourself, in the exam room and beyond. Vinckier is a nationally recognized OB/GYN Physician Assistant with over a decade of clinical experience, reproductive health creator, and founder of Take Back Trust. In We Deserve More, she takes on medical dismissal, rushed and inadequate care, and the quiet traumas that leave millions of patients feeling invisible in exam rooms across America. This workbook is organized around real-life reproductive healthcare situations—from first gynecological visits to navigating miscarriage, choosing birth control, addressing infertility, and accessing care in rural or hostile environments. Each chapter provides pre-visit preparation checklists, advocacy scripts for difficult conversations, reflective journaling prompts, visit snapshot templates, and scenario-based guidance. This is a resource you can reference before appointments and return to whenever you need to remember your power. Written in Vinckier's signature warm, direct voice, this workbook transforms insight into action, helping you build confidence, document your care, and advocate effectively in a system that wasn't designed to listen. We Deserve More and The We Deserve More Workbook offer: This workbook is for anyone who has walked out of a reproductive health appointment feeling dismissed, unheard, or unsure of what to do next. It turns knowledge into action, giving you the structure, language, and clarity to participate fully in your care. The We Deserve More Workbook is a companion you can return to before appointments, during moments of confusion, and whenever you need a reminder that your health—and your voice—deserve respect.
Introduction xv Part One: Core Skills 1 Skill 1: Your Medical Snapshot 3 Skill 2: Making the Right Appointment: Setting Yourself Up for Success 9 Skill 3: Preparing for Your Annual Exam 13 Skill 4: Planning for a Problem Visit 19 Skill 5: Tracking Symptoms 23 Skill 6: The Art of Good Questions 29 Skill 7: Bringing Someone with You (or Not) 35 Skill 8: Outlining Your What-Ifs 41 Skill 9: Reflecting After a Visit 47 Skill 10: When Care Doesn't Go Right: Speaking Up, Salvaging, and Knowing When to Leave 53 Part Two: Real-Life Scenarios and Support 59 Foundations of Care and Identity-Based Navigation 63 Scenario 1: Bringing Your Teen In for Their First Visit 65 Scenario 2: Being Overweight in the Exam Room 69 Scenario 3: Trans, Nonbinary, and Intersex Gynecologic Care 75 Scenario 4: Navigating OB-GYN Care as a Black Woman or Birthing Person 87 Scenario 5: Navigating Gynecological Care with a History of Trauma 95 Scenario 6: Mental Health Deserves a Plan 103 Cycle Symptoms, Hormonal Shifts, Infections, and Pain Concerns 119 Scenario 7: Birth Control That Works for You 121 Scenario 8: Break-Through Bleeding That Doesn't Make Sense 131 Scenario 9: Irregular Periods, PCOS, and Getting Real Answers 139 Scenario 10: The Pain They Don't See: Endometriosis and Adenomyosis 149 Scenario 11: When Vaginal or Urinary Symptoms Keep Coming Back 157 Scenario 12: Ovarian Cysts, Scary Pain, and Real Answers 165 Scenario 13: Menopause Misinformation, Hormone Therapy, and Being Taken Seriously 177 Sex, Fertility, and Family Building 185 Scenario 14: Sexual Health Beyond "Just Use Lube" 187 Scenario 15: Queer Sex Ed 195 Scenario 16: Family Expansion Conversations That Don't Assume 203 Scenario 17: Aging and Egg Freezing: What You Should Know 209 Scenario 18: It's Time to Try: Getting Pregnant on Purpose 217 Scenario 19: Starting Infertility Conversations 225 Scenario 20: Same-Sex Family Planning and Single Mother by Choice (SMBC) 231 Pregnancy Loss and Abortion Care 239 Scenario 21: Navigating Abortion by Choice 241 Scenario 22: Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR) 253 Scenario 23: Selective Reduction in Multifetal Pregnancy 263 Scenario 24: Miscarriage Management 271 Structural Barriers and Safety Nets 283 Scenario 25: When You Don't Have Insurance 285 Scenario 26: When You Live in a Rural Area 295 Scenario 27: Living in a State with an Abortion Ban 301 Scenario 28: Navigating Reproductive Coercion, Abuse, or Control 307 You Made It Through the Hard Part 313
These are the foundational skills that make every visit smoother, how to prepare, ask better questions, reflect after appointments, and navigate the system on your terms.
A template for summarizing history, meds, allergies, family history, and priorities so you walk in prepared
A clear guide to understanding the different types of visits—plus scripts and strategies to make sure you're booked for the care you actually need
What to expect, questions to ask, scripts for when things feel rushed, how to prioritize your top concerns
How to approach visits when you have a specific issue, how to frame symptoms clearly, how to advocate when you're brushed off
A simple system for logging timing, severity, impact, and patterns so you can walk into your visit prepared with clear details
How to phrase clear, concise questions that get real answers instead of yes/no responses
Guidance on deciding whether to bring a support person, how to prep them, or how to set boundaries if you prefer to go alone
Anticipate the unexpected and create a plan before you need one
Tools to process your experience and prepare for next time
Scripts to redirect in the moment, tools to process after, and guidance on when—and how—to find a new clinician
These are the real-life situations where the system is most likely to fall short. Each scenario gives you strategies, scripts, and reflection space so you can walk into care prepared—and walk out with more of what you need.
How to model trust, support privacy, and set your teen up for a lifetime of empowered care
How to redirect bias, ask for inclusive care, and be treated as a patient—not a project
What affirming care actually looks like, how to set boundaries, and what you can ask for before and during the visit
How to prepare, advocate, and demand accountability in a system built to dismiss you
Tools to reclaim control, set boundaries, and access care without abandoning yourself
Whether it's pregnancy-related, cycle-related, or always there in the background, your mental health matters—and deserves real care
Whether you're starting, stopping, or switching—this is how to own the conversation
Irregular bleeding, spotting after sex, periods that won't stop—and no clear answers
When your cycle is chaos, your symptoms are real, and "just go on the pill" isn't the answer you need
How to get past dismissal and into diagnosis—real questions, real scripts, real power
Yeast, BV, UTIs, STI testing, and how to advocate when symptoms keep coming back
Understanding the types of cysts, what symptoms matter, and how to build a follow-up plan that actually protects your peace
What to track, how to push past the "just aging" line, and the treatment options you deserve
When your sexual wellness needs real care, not dismissive one-liners
Inclusive anatomy, safer sex, and reclaiming pleasure on your own terms
Whether you want kids, don't want kids, or aren't sure, how to take control of the narrative
Not sure whether to freeze your eggs, track your cycle, or ignore the noise?
Ready to start trying to get pregnant or perhaps you just pulled the goalie, let's work on understanding your body, your options, and your next steps
When trying isn't working, here's how to ask for answers, get support, and advocate for care that doesn't treat you like a number
Questions to ask, paths to explore, and how to protect your parenthood
What to ask, how to prepare, and getting the support you need
When a wanted pregnancy faces serious medical complications—navigating an impossible decision with compassion and support
What it means, how it's performed, and how to process both the physical and emotional layers of the decision
What to say, what to ask for, and how to advocate when care is delayed or denied (includes scripts for when you're told to "just wait it out")
How to access reproductive care without coverage, what's legally protected, and how to find sliding scale support (especially helpful for undocumented patients, students, or gig workers)
How to get reproductive care when the nearest clinic is hours away, telehealth is limited, and local options are few and far between
How to stay safe, protect your privacy, and navigate reproductive care when your state restricts or bans abortion
How to protect your body, your choices, and your safety when someone else is trying to control your reproductive decisions
Subject Areas: Social services & welfare, criminology [JK]
