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Fighting for Your African American Marriage

A Selection of the Black Expressions Book Club

Keith E. Whitfield (Author), Howard J. Markman (Author), Scott M. Stanley (Author), Susan L. Blumberg (Author)

9780787955519, Wiley

Paperback / softback, published 21 September 2001

320 pages
23.1 x 15.6 x 2.1 cm, 0.435 kg

Adhering to the blueprint of their highly successful Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love (1994), the authors outline the "Four Key Patterns That Destroy Oneness" (escalation; invalidation, withdrawal and avoidance; negative interpretation), the "Speaker/Listener Technique" for clarifying problems and methods of "Problem Solving," with "Ground Rules for Handling Conflict." Readers learn to distinguish between issues and events and to recognize the need for commitment, forgiveness, intimacy, friendship, sex and fun in a successful relationship. Brief anecdotes and conversations bring an immediacy and familiarity to the text, and exercises at the end of each chapter provide practice. With the inclusion of Whitfield, Pennsylvania State University professor of behavioral health and the only African-American among the authors, this work sensitively and forthrightly addresses the "special issues" and concerns of African-American couples, which include the "the pressure of racism--stereotyped gender roles--the extended family of kin and non-blood relations--"the special role of the church" as well as economic issues and concerns "regarding interracial intimacy." The breadth of class and occupation covered enriches the book, as does the recognition that marital problems in couples of any race or ethnicity may involve where to have dinner or what video to rent. An eminently readable and practical guide. (Publishers Weekly, September 10, 2001)

Fighting for Your African American Marriage gives you solid solutions to the challenges your marriage faces every day. The book contains a unique perspective and presents the powerful, proven strategies of the highly acclaimed PREP(Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) approach for helping black couples beat the odds and master the skills that can prevent marital distress and divorce.

Acknowledgments xi

Introduction xiii

What Makes Our World Go 'Round 1

Four Key Patterns That Destroy Oneness 27

Communicating Safely and Clearly: The Speaker-Listener Technique 49

Handlin' Business: Problem Solving 73

Ground Rules for Handling Conflict 99

Timing Is Everything: Issues and Events 117

Unmet Expectations and What to Do About Them 137

Stickin' Together: Commitment 155

Core Belief Systems: Religious, Spiritual, and Otherwise 175

Forgiving, Forgetting, and Intimacy 199

Preserving and Protecting Friendship 219

Marriage and Fun: They Go Together! 231

Sexual Healing 243

Keeping It Together 255

Selected Research and Resources 269

More Information on the PREP Approach 277

Finding a Counselor When You Need One 279

Some Thoughts on Domestic Violence 283

About the Authors 285

Index 287

Subject Areas: Psychology [JM]

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