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Don't Bring It to Work
Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success
This book is emotionally engaging and the message is fantastic. This engaging book has a powerful core message. We’re bringing family dynamics – from childhood and even from our parents’ childhoods – to work. – and the results are not pretty. Packed with stories of workplace dynamics gone awry – and, then, amazingly enough, transformed by Lafair’s compassionate approach – the book is immensely readable. You will be motivated to create change for the better. Wonderful insights for anyone who manages a business, works in a business, or leads a business. Read it now! Sylvia Lafair’s book brings a rare view of “systems” and “systems thinking,” is helpful to individuals and families, as well as business people working to build appreciation, cohesion and success. Dr. Sylvia Lafair has written a superb book on working relationships that should be on every executive's desk and used by anyone who is in the business of depending on efficient teamwork for productivity. Her reflections of how our family systems can sabotage our working lives are brilliant and totally applicable in practical terms. This is a must for all business programs, regardless of how large or small. Through Sylvia Lafair’s astute work, you will see yourself, your co-workers and your family dynamics in an entirely new light. More importantly, this will help you change the patterns that have been keeping you from reaching your highest potential. This ranks with the best business and psychology books on the market; not only is it insightful and practical—it’s a great read! A phenomenal book! Sylvia's insights, experience and her brilliant communication style make her one of the leading experts in this field. I have had the honor of working with Sylvia over many years and can attest to the power of her methods in transforming co-workers into highly functioning team members. This really works! Most educators’ feel they are standing sentry over a system under siege on all fronts. It’s exhausting! Sylvia Lafair shows us effective ways to make change happen. This seminal book provides me the Holy Grail to forge a strong team on behalf of our mission to prepare children for the future. I’ve been waiting for this for 35 years. Sylvia takes a highly personalized approach to Leadership Development. She helps each person become more aware of their personal styles, their possible origins and raises behavior patterns to a conscious level. From awareness comes change. I found great value in applying these lessons both at work and home to successfully balance demanding jobs, motherhood and a 2 career marriage. This book helps bring a new way of doing business. It changed the way we run our company and the results are significant. This sentence says it all, “It is time to get out of the sandbox of childhood and gain a deeper knowledge of the fact that we are all connected and no one wins unless we all do.” This book is a “must have” for Supervisors all the way up to top Executives of the company. Amazing! Sylvia Lafair tells us what every successful person already knows… Business and personal lives can never be totally separate. She destroys this myth and gives us the tools to bring people together to build great companies and deliver bottom-line results. Groundbreaking work! Sylvia Lafair's life work is helping people reach their potential. Like many brilliant ideas, the pattern recognition process described in this book seems obvious in hindsight. Its power is the power to transform not just life in the workplace, but the total quality of human life. Vital for those working in a family business. Dr. Lafair is on to something that will totally change how you see yourself and others in the workplace. The Pattern Aware Leadership Model helps people recognize and address their core issues. This is so much more than "dress for success" advice. Buy it, read it, apply it! It will transform you and your relationships. This book has wonderful tools for anyone wishing to make their work environment more successful. It addresses the baggage that we all bring to the workplace and gives wonderful revelations as to how to move forward from this and build on our strengths. It is about leadership of the highest level. This book distills various behavior patterns that we have at work and helps you identify negative patterns and takes you through personal transformation. Every leader and manager should read this book! This is an incisive exploration of the limiting patterns that hold us captive and sabotage our efforts to be effective leaders in our organizations. Sylvia Lafair’s call is simple and practical as she sets out to offer her readers clear steps to unravel their past and transform limiting habits into pathways of success and wellbeing in our organizations. I highly recommend this book. This book offers keen insights into how individuals process information and guides leaders in helping employees at every level become the best they can be. It is amazing how quickly conflicts can be resolved when we understand the meta-messages that lie at the core of most communication. It should be required reading for all leaders and leaders-in- training.
–Robert Sutton, Professor of Management Science and Engineering, Stanford University, Author, No Asshole Rule
–Amy Edmondson, Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management, Harvard Business School, Harvard University
–Michael E. Gerber, Author, The E-Myth Books
–Frances Hesselbein, Chairman and Founding President, Leader to Leader Institute
–Dr. Frank Lawlis, Author, Mending The Broken Bond
–Anita Sharpe, CEO & Founder of GeniusSuite, Pulitzer Prize Winning Writer at The Wall Street Journal
–Eslie Dennis, MD, VP Medical Head Northeast, Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corporation
–Linda C. Brewer, Ed. D., Superintendent, Derry Township School District
–Nancy Singer, Senior Director, Global Sales and Marketing Leadership Development, Merck & Co., Inc.
–Yvonne Cangelosi, Executive VP, SPEX CertiPrep, Inc.
–Richard Harris, CEO, Spa Sydell
–Edwin Neill III, President, Neill Corporation
–Dorene E. McCourt, VP, Product Development & Management, MedImpact Healthcare Systems, Inc.
–Carole Haas Gravagno, Board Member, Philadelphia Orchestra
Wow! It’s wonderful!
–Nancy Duarte, CEO of Duarte Design, Author, slide:ology
–Amber Chand, Founder, The Amber Chand Collection: Global Gifts for Peace & Understanding
–Lynn Rolston, CEO California Pharmacists Association
Sylvia Lafair (Author)
9780470404362, Wiley
Hardback, published 20 March 2009
256 pages, Charts: 2 B&W, 0 Color
23.1 x 16 x 2.8 cm, 0.431 kg
How can you get to the bottom of workplace behaviors that simply don't work for you or your organization? Don't Bring It to Work explores what happens when patterns originally created to cope with family conflicts are unleashed in the workplace.?This groundbreaking book draws on the success of Sylvia Lafair's PatternAware program Total Leadership Connections. Throughout the book she shows how to break the cycle of pattern repetition and offers the tools that can turn unhealthy family baggage into creative energy that will foster better workplace associations and career success. Lafair identifies the thirteen most common patterns that correspond to characters familiar to anyone who has ever worked in an office: Super Achiever, Rebel, Persecutor, Victim, Rescuer, Clown, Martyr, Splitter, Procrastinator, Drama Queen or King, Pleaser, Denier, and Avoider. To help overcome destructive behavior problems, she maps out the three main steps for becoming aware of patterns and finding the way OUT: The book includes a wealth of real-life anecdotes and practical, workbook-style exercises that clearly show how anyone can get beyond old, outmoded attempts at conflict resolution and empower themselves to make profound differences both at work and in their personal lives.
Acknowledgments xi Introduction xv Part One: The Home-Work Connection 1 Relationships at Work and at Home 3 2 Understanding Behavior at Work and at Home 20 3 Understanding Workplace Crises and Conflicts 43 Part Two: The Way Out: Observe, Understand, and Transform Your Patterns 4 The Thirteen Most Common Destructive Patterns in the Workplace 69 5 Going Deep: Exploring the History of Your Family Patterns 102 Part Three: A New Me, A New You, A New Organization 6 Defining a More Authentic You at Work 133 7 Talking Together 168 8 Connecting the Dots 190 Appendix 207 Notes 211 About the Author 217 Index 219
Subject Areas: Business & management [KJ]
